For ladies only! R18 content

[Donna Brown]

If you are easily offended, please don't read any further.
Something that isn't discussed and should be is how an adult female with perthes copes with the 'intimate stuff' in a relationship.

Think about it - Perthes can affect our ability to abduct our legs (to put this simply - spread them), which does tend to be needed if you are going to be sexually active!

I have spoken with a couple of women who had Perthes as children and now have sore hips and the one common complaint was that at the wrong moment, the hip would either lock or spasm. Really great for your 'other half' to be suddenly, unceremoniously pushed away, so you can stand up and walk off the spasm or locked feeling!

You definitely need to have an understanding partner in a situation like this and the chances that youwill be able to pick up, where you left off are pretty remote.

What I have found helps (doesn't fix the problem, but does minimise the chance or severity), is to take some pain meds before I go to bed and also to spend the first 10-15 minutes or so, with a hot water bottle or heatpack on that hip, so that the muscles are relaxed.

I thought long and hard about whether or not I mentioned this, but its interesting to see how often it has come up - also with the mums of girls with perthes, asking what it will be like for their daughters when they get older and want to have an intimate relationship.

Cheers!

[velvettears]

I have had a the same things happen to me, but before I had sex with my husband I explained to whole situation about my hip and he at least has had no problem stopping in the middle of things to give my hip a rest. I know that this is to much info, but the only times I usually have a problem is when I'm outside, or if the house is too cold.

[annie]

i had perthes in both hips as a child had surgery in both hips i was 9yrs old, my treatment stopped at the age 11 or 12 was told to go back to see my doctor at the age of 18yrs ( never bothered) i thought thats that over and done with. recently i have had bother with both hips again i am now 32yrs old with 3 gorgeous children (i would love more lol) i had x rays done by my family doctor and found that i have a bone cyst on my right hip, so i have started to research perthes and the after effects. i am amazed to find so much information on perthes may i add very little information on how it effects adulthood.
when finding this site i read donna browns comment on intimate side of dealing with perthes in adulthood i am so amazed to find i am not the only person that experience the spasms and the hip locking of being intimate with my partner, i thought it was just me and had to it acept it, my partner and i are quite open about our relationship and yet i have never told him about this, i had maybe went oh i have cramp or cover over it by going on to foreplay until my hip recovered, then carried on.... this is a good topic to be talking about for us women who have had perthes we won't feel so alone.

thank you donna

[Donna Brown]

Its good to know you aren't the only one and I know that is how I felt too.

Best advice I can give you there is to tell your partner what is happening, as its not like you have any control over it. This way, when it happens again, he won't wonder what is going on and can maybe be part of helping you with it - could lead you down all sorts of interesting paths LOL!

All the best

Donna

[nattie1985]

It is good to know that you are not the only one going through this.

When i met my now husband i told him almost straight away, i was scared of what he was going to think of me - was he going to accept me for who i was or was he going to be selfish about it an run away.
The good thing was he stood by me, saying no matter what is wrong with you i accept you as you are as it's part of you. That made me really happy knowing he was accepting me for me and not for what i looked like on in my case how i walked.

As we lived so far apart me in England him in Australia or first encounter in the bed room was a bit scary for me i didn't know how he was going to take me not being able to do what "Normal"people are able to do. All was ok, we found away around and found a way of getting around the inabilliity of me able to move my hip freely.

Today and for a long time now i have accepted the disease that i have in my hip, and now i have found someone who is also accepting it.
Living with it has been hard had it since i was about 5yrs old, am now nearly 23 and still suffer from it. One day i wish i could get a hip replacement but i don't think that day will come.

[nicola]

I feel like giving up having sex because my hip get so sore but I do find alcohol helps which is not the best treatment.
I can relate to nattie1985, I was also 5yrs old when dianosied and Im coming up to 30 I still suffer really badly with pain.
I have a very high possibility of needing a hip replacment which I don't want

[karine]

I am totally with you ladies in the challenges of enjoying sex. It's not always easy but found that very slim (skinny) men in general by being not as wide make things less painful. I don't know the extent of your range of motion but found that regular yoga with a teacher who is able to adapt/modify the movements to accomodate your limited range is extremely helpful in loosening the muscles and increase the range. After about a year of yoga I could really move more and feel a lot less pain in my daily activities -and during sex too.

[squidge125]

If anyone is having trouble with positions you can try looking at

sexinfo101.com

this shows various positions that mayb give some ideas.